Hello again. Today feels very scattered. I was overwhelmed with a kind of malaise at first and then later with some sort of chaotic energy. I could not get anything done, despite having the energy and then when I actually started doing, I could not concentrate even slightly. It's something that greatly bothers me, to be sure. I like consistency, but ultimately we cannot pick our moods and feelings, our energies if you will, consistently. I was also overwhelmed by sentiment, I think. I thought a lot of the past. I am not getting any younger! Although I am not old. There was a time when I was disillusioned with my own work and could only reflect on the work of others. I could only work within the constraints of other works. Now, I feel like I have rallied myself again, but it tooks years. I have renewed confidence and perspective when it comes to my own art. I believe again, but that does not mean that these years aren't sad or that it was necessary. While yesterday I was overwhelmed by love and potential, today I suppose I felt the weight of these dead years, and I could not help but mourn. It's important to let yourself be touched, I think. To let your emotions flow their natural course and then stop at their natural time. I am peaceful now, and I feel like I have never been greater. I think it's good to mourn yourself sometimes.
Here is my haiku for the day. I hope your enjoy it.
a year passing by
is like a farewell