Hell again! I hope you're doing alright. Today I spent a lot of time working and it was rather mindnumbing work. It was a gorgeous day in which I mostly sat inside which I have mixed feelings about. I want to read a bit more outside of texts to edit. I feel like I should start planning in moment during the day to not be behind the computer or have my phone on me, outside of exercise. I appreciate quiet and I appreciate nature, after all. It seems unseemly to not try and make time for important matters like that, hectic schedule notwithstanding. Yesterday I realised that I've been asking some questions recently, as if I was trying to elicit some kind of response from anyone who might be reading. I wondered why I was doing that and came to the conclusion that there is a part of me that that very much wants to like have that kind of audience engagement, but that that mentality is also a trap, and counter to what I seek from this blog. To try and force engagement, to seek some kind of approval, it's a poisonous mindset. What I want to do is share my art, my poems, my thoughts, but it is ultimately a more one-sided relation. Of course, I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't want my works to be read. I'm not just doing this for myself. I find joy in sharing my work. I think I will refrain from questions from now on and try to simply keep it to my work and my thoughts.
Here is my haiku for the day! I hope you enjoy it.
lonely leafless tree
by the haze of death